QC-L Version 4.0

Yes, welcome to my lair of evil thoughts and incorrect speech where I don't let go and move on and I talk about whatever I please. On a blog no one ever tells you to shut up. If you don't like what I say, just go elsewhere.

This blog now has a new background and a new theme. It is also using a remotely loaded style sheet. That is a first. It is lush, heavy, and uses a background that has a theme I have never used here before, though I have used it for pressies. Let the show go on! It always does anyway. And yes, we are powered by Blogger.

I am putting a temporary illustration here until I have a logo for this design. Watch this space.

temporary illustration


The Backfile: this blog's archives.

Ajayu, home of my story, The Sneezeweed Chronicles. Yes, I do fiction.

It will have Oneiro, my own little role play.

Unfettered Soul, my flagship site.

The Silk Purse, my play pretend Brainstorms.

Failed Messiah Religious news never sounded so good.

New York Times. Read the news and be smart.

Friday, April 25, 2003

by Eileen Kramer

Well twice in one week is really not all that bad. I have two resumes I'm going to try to get out this weekend.

Currently this office reeks of wet sneakers drying. I have a blister on the back of my right heel that is all wrapped in padding so I can walk without pain. Death begins from the feet up. I am debating whether to go to schul tonight. Last week Randy, who is military, gave me, a lone protester, a very nasty snub. Now it may have been unintentional. I don't ask for rides usually and Randy didn't offer. That's where and how it ended. I got a ride with someone else and I can walk home if I have to. I do have ZOID to set up and cooking I would like to do. I'm expected on the desk in twenty-four minutes so this is borrowed time in the worst sense. It is a sort of lunch break that is oh so precious if you get what I mean.

It's funny that all the ugliness I've sort of expected over the weeks of protesting has turned into a mean, petty, little nub of a snub. Snubs are fun. One can worry over them and pet them and stroke them and meditate on them. One of course is expected to pretend they are not really there because that is what the deliverer of a really grade A first rate snub does. "Oh you misconstrue." You get the idea.

I bought chametz last night. Passover's over. I didn't really miss the chametz this year, but it is good to have it back. What I really want to do is go up to the DeKalb Farmer's Market (sorry no URL this time) in Atlanta and buy all kinds of good produce and some of their really fine dried beans. They have whole dried green peas. Whole green peas are much better than split ones, but whole ones like so many other good things, are unavailable in Columbus.

Lou is expected on Tuesday but I'm not holding my breath. He is my boyfriend and he lives up in Utica. Travel traumatizes him. I don't have all that much sympathy. He'll get here when and if he gets here.

They are tearing down the supermarket where I bought yogurt and juice when I job interviewed here in Columbus several years ago. It was a Food Max and then a Cubb Foods and now a nothing. I wonder if they are remodeling and going to build something new in its place or just leave a big empty spot. This being Columbus, Georgia a big empty spot is a distinct possibility.

Well that's about it. I have some loose ends to tie up before I am desked again.

Monday, April 21, 2003

by Eileen Kramer

Well, the job hunt did not get sabotaged. There are three irons in the fire that weren't there Friday and there will be more shortly. That feels good. That breaks all preconceived notions of what I can and can't do. I think the protesting knocked me out of whack. I think part of me needs what I've dived into the abyss to find. I think part of me finds it and the rest of me job hunts. Of course where the abyss is concerned, I have not yet felt the darkness close in. I came close a few times this afternoon.

In my garden, two squash plants are germinating and I may have one Mexican sunflower coming up. Yay!

Now on with the rant. This comes from my activities in the abyss. If you want peace, you are going to need to do more than stick a cute sticker on your web page, especially one with a yellow ribbon. You are going to have to do more than sign guestbooks. You are going to have to get out there and let the world know. Yes, down on the highway. Yes, at a big or a small demonstration. Why? Because there are enough people who've given campaign donations who will be happy to batten off war. Call them the military industrial complex if you like, but they're out there. They have their balance sheets and not your interests at heart.

Before you blather on about freedom, think about it. How free are you, right here, in the good ole' US of A? Try demonstrating. See what it takes to do a one person or a three or a five person picket. Learn all the places you can't go even though they are property built at tax payer expense. Think about leafleting. What does it cost to xerox or for the printer ink? Where can you hand out those leaflets before private security nabs you? What does it cost to get your message across? What do you pay for web space? If it's too much money for you to afford a space or a way to be seen, you are just as silenced as if someone held a gun to your head or threatened to throw you in jail.

And as CZ said during a very good debating performance: "People don't worry about free speech when they're hungry or if the power's not turned on." And the military doesn't fight for any body's free speech rights or for the rights of free speech at home. Free speech is usually limited by towns and municipalities and private agencies like shopping malls and employers. Free speech gets fought for in the courts. It's a game played by the well fed in a country with years of democratic tradition.

And as of about noon today, the coalition of the willing has not found any weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Also considering we whipped the Iraqis butts, one can hardly say they were a credible threat. Of course the people who cheer, so happy to be citizens of the new American Empire, have forgotten that our government went to war under utterl false pretenses. They lied big time. Not good....

I can always get up a good head of steam over politics. On a sadder note, most of this cycle's guestbook roundup is going to have to be done with postcards due to Bravent and Lycos' privacy and malware concerns. I remember when signing guestbooks was a safe, fun, harmless pursuit. Now it puts your privacy and computer at risk. It's like swimming in polluted water. Maybe all the world has gone to you know what.

Friday, April 18, 2003

by Eileen Kramer

I don't want to publish all the details here, because I am still at the stage where I think it is harmless, and oh it is great fun, but I am getting ready to sabotage my job hunt which went dormant during the active phase of the war. Oh yes, there is still an occupation, but only a few stick around to watch that.

The email is running dry and I am drunk with anticipatory joy. Right now I am searching for a new midi to celebrate. I upload the files and imagine something much better than what I am going to get. That is the whole part of the strange game I am playing. Nothing will change. In fact, the joy I experience now will make me visibly unhappy six to ten months from now. I know all this but now it is so much fun. I love the color, the music, and the trappings so much. What happens next really doesn't matter.

Enough talk about the forbidden topic. I may actually make it to schul tonight. It will be a strange feeling. We are having a new rabbi job candidate in two weeks. I'm not on the search committee but I will get asked for my input. I've also been asked to review a fellow LOTH member's resume. Job hunting is in the air. It must be the spring.

I can't stay warm. Everyone else is down to spring clothes, yet I freeze in shirt sleeves. I'm still doing the sweater and the in between coat. I must have done something to myself protesting. I crave the brightly colored abyss. If you are a close friend of mine, you'll know what I mean. I wish I could be warm. It's annoying but I just huddle in my sweaters and crawl under the duvet at night. I wake up sweaty. Quite simply put, I come to my senses while I sleep. Lord knows I 've taken leave of them while awake.

I wonder what this weekend will be like, with me in my current state. I guess I have to see the slide into the abyss through to its end. The new song plays on my media player. A new song is needed. I also should upgrade the guestbook or at least add a pretty logo to it. That can wait though. Now to download the files. Yes, I am really going to make that slide, and for a while it will feel like flying with no ground under me at all.

There, the uploads are done. Now the only decision left is where...This is where the possibilities cease to be endless. Once the gift is open, wrappings lay strewn all over the floor. No fun that way. I hear the new song playing. Damn it's seductive! I have twelve minutes until I must be on my way to schul. It's unfair to have to choose in all of ten minutes. Let the choosing be part of the slow, sweet fun. I'll know that I'm falling soon enough.

Thursday, April 17, 2003

by Eileen Kramer

Well here it is day two of Passover. How is that for a lame opening? Well it's really day one but it feels like day two. I'm facing another, my third, one hour desk shift. We are woefully short staffed today. I've just eaten lunch. I saw part of a debate on the recent war in Iraq put on by the political science and the history departments. One of the students was well prepared but a very poor public speaker. Another is a sharp guy who was a veteran. The two prowar students looked better than their sbustance. That can happen sometimes. I was surprised how full the auditorium was. That was a very pleasant surprise. I met Alice Pate who teaches history too. I wonder what Concerned Citizens of Columbus will do next.

Diana wants me to revise the "orphaned" Middle East webliography. This feels like a gargantuan task. So far I am working on finding the twelfth link. I'm looking for about twenty-five links in all. A lot of Middle Eastern countries have web sites that are in disarray. It is sad to find all this stuff. For a while though, the going was easy.

I found a new place to send ecards: Bulb Meister. The flower pictures are very spiffy and remind me of the preciousness of spring. I have to find a poem today for Ladies Advance. The new North American Review always arrives late. That makes me sad. I may see if the New Republic has any interesting poetry.

The sky is grey outside and it looks like it is threatening rain. Just my luck, since I want to go grocery shopping today. They had beautiful bunch beets at Publix and I hope they still have them. Beets always discolor my finger nails when I peel them, but it is worth the work to have beets and greens for a couple of days.

Wednesday, April 16, 2003

by Eileen Kramer

Well, I'm going to do a bit of blogging since I am no longer writing protest logs.

I finally have the house cleaned for Passover and ate my first pesa-dicha meal this morning. It was fun. It still feels good. It won't in a few days. Most likely, I'll be jonesing for beans, mayonaise, and potato chips. I can always jones for potato chips. It's the rice and beans I'll miss most seriously. Changing one's diet for a week is a good way to remember the escape from slavery to freedom that happened all those years ago. And yes, I get religious around this time of year.

I have a garphic, the only Passover graphic, in the RAOK Easter contest. I asked if Passover graphics were acceptible and low and behold I am the winner in my one lonely category. Actually, ladies groups are not always that culturally sensitive. I'm a LOTH Spirit Worker and I realize that as much as many of the older ladies in my schul might fit right in sort of, the Christian prayers all the time would just make them uncomfortable.

A Jewis special interest group at LOTH, however, is out of the question. I would be accused of wanting separation instead of unity, but we're not all one. So far, I'm the token Jew in LOTH Spirit Workers.

So far I've restrained from telling the "I don't celebrate Easter" story, but I'll tell it here. There is a very good reason that many Jews do not celebrate Easter. Back in Russia and Poland as late as the beginning of the last century since this is 2003, the Orthodox and Roman Catholic churches with the conivance of the local fedual lords, stirred up the peasants by telling them the story of the blood libel. They would tell the rabble that the Jews killed an innocent Christian child to spread his blood on their matzoh at Passover.

Naturally this stirred up the peasants and Cossacks and off they went to pillage, loot, and murder. It was a particularly bad rash of these pogroms in 1903 that drove my people from Eastern Europe to the United States. So you can see why Jews have no taste for Easter.

By the way there's been ethnic clensing of Arabs by Kurds in Northern Iraq. I don't have a link, but it showed up on the wire services.

Sunday, April 06, 2003

by Eileen Kramer

I am debating making this a public blog. The problem out there is that there are certain vengeful and sensitive souls and if I want to talk about them in here, they need to stay locked out. I hate to do that. I know this blog would get more entries if it had more readership. I would probably be posting about my war picketing on it instead of at this page.

I have no idea what my nemisis is doing. I never added any music. I did move nineteen sites, including this one to Tacheiru.us which is my new domain. Nominet tripled its prices. I voted with my feet, big time. I have no patience with rip offs, not big ones anyway. I am the first person to get nickel and dimed to death and the first one to recognize paying a bit more for a top notch product. A rip off, however, is another matter. OK, this is more or less a test. I will try to start blogging again.