QC-L Version 4.0

Yes, welcome to my lair of evil thoughts and incorrect speech where I don't let go and move on and I talk about whatever I please. On a blog no one ever tells you to shut up. If you don't like what I say, just go elsewhere.

This blog now has a new background and a new theme. It is also using a remotely loaded style sheet. That is a first. It is lush, heavy, and uses a background that has a theme I have never used here before, though I have used it for pressies. Let the show go on! It always does anyway. And yes, we are powered by Blogger.

I am putting a temporary illustration here until I have a logo for this design. Watch this space.

temporary illustration

LET'S ROLL THOSE OTHER SITES

The Backfile: this blog's archives.

Ajayu, home of my story, The Sneezeweed Chronicles. Yes, I do fiction.

It will have Oneiro, my own little role play.

Unfettered Soul, my flagship site.

The Silk Purse, my play pretend Brainstorms.

Failed Messiah Religious news never sounded so good.

New York Times. Read the news and be smart.

Friday, March 31, 2006

by Eileen Kramer

I'm so far behind on vengance it is not funny. Moving to a new town sure gives you a life away from the net. I hope I can get on the vengance ball soon.

Operation Straight and Narrow is in its second day. It is a drag. Neopets takes forever to load and it's the same thing day after day. I guess I just never noticed before. I also feel like my hands are tied.

I want to do a redesign on ZOID, but don't have the time.

I am finally unpacked here. I even have most of the pictures up and they are new ones. They are still calendar prints fo cats, but at least they are from a new calendar so they don't have all th elitle rip marks and wrinkles in them. Caneldar pictures wear out after a time. I have to figure out what to wash wooden floors with. I have no idea what to use.

I went to Phipps Plaza today. I heard about it because it is supposed to have an excellent food court. It does, but that is beside the point. It is this incredible upscale browsing/shopping extravaganza complete with a piral staircase, skylighst, and a wooden elevator. There is Cadillac valet parking. Of couse valet parkers are often high school kids and my mom has some great stories about what they do.

There were storse that were art galleries and one selling fancy English soaps that looked pretty and smelled good. I think Crabtree and Evelyn have a better price, but if someone in my family neds a birthday present well that's the way to go since everyone sooner or later needs to get clean. They even had a Prsidential soap assortment for men. Each soap had been a favorite flavor of a President of the United States, ncluding something called Number Six which was a favorite of George Washington. I guess this soap comany has been around for a very long time.

Then there was the Gucci store that had lovely stuff but which never has a sale, and another stoe called Halo which had lovely hand woven straw purses. The purses sold for between fifty and a hundred dollars. There were other stores wtih really beautiful suticases. To me all this stuff is graduation gift material, the kind of thng one might buy for a girl of eighteen or twenty-two or for a young woman finishing up a graduae program. In my family, this kind of thing has served in lieu of bridal or baby showers.

The weirdest store was a children's store that had only these very expensive things for very young children, all in these pale washed out colors. These were supposed to be high class, but I couldn't picture any little girl really liking them. The dresses in Parisian with their sa silky roses and daisies stuck to them hit the mark much better. And after all kids outgrow this stuff or destroy it anyway so why not buy it in bright loud colors. They're prettier anyway.

The lunch I had was excellent. I had a black bean burito from Fantastic Wraps. . It was hot and fresh and good value. I like hard core vegetarian food and beans are just plain good. Atlanta is a city for Mexcian food. In other news, I found another ATM machine and the location of the restaurant where I ate when I came here to look for housing. It is called Rainbow Grocery. I've also found a cut through called Willow Lane which keeps you off the busy high traffic streets.

I have yet to find a synagogue that is conveniently located or a laundromat, but I don't have to do laundry yet. I've just drawn a bath and it is cooking. Lysistrata has kept me company up here on the desk. Outside a siren wails. You can always hear the traffic here, but that doesn't bother me.

It has been days since I last had a bath. I think I had one Saturday or Sunday. I don't really remember. I remember washing my hair Wednesday night as soon as we got hot water.

Lou went back to Utica yesterday by the way. I got to do a lot of walking and think I know my neighborhood, but of couse there is a lot left to explore. Going to schul tomorrow will be good for me.


Thursday, March 30, 2006

by Eileen Kramer

I have a good excuse not to have been doing any vengance of late. I moved this weekend, and now live in Decatur, Georgia. Everything has fallen days behind. I did manage to get one more letter out to Diane's son, Shawn before I left Columbus. That was a VENGANCE VICTORY. I suppose I could write him another. That would really kick vengance into high gear. I also went shopping at WalMart yesterday. I got a very spiffy red dish drainer for the kitchen. That screams VENGANCE!

I'll get to the Third Rail tonight and set it up for April and add my daily posts.

I also have a new plan for Neopets. It is called Project Straight 'N Narrow. Hopefully I will one day publish the results, but right now they have a better use. Believing in vengance has its advantages.

Well here I am in Decatur, Georgia. Monday I start work at a new job. That should say it all and explain my absence.

How do I feel. Well I can't talk about all of it here. I like the apartment. The cats were traumatized by the move, but have now recovered.

I really should be on my way to Whole Foods or Toco Hills or both but instead I am trying to put my cyber life back in order.

The minute I moved to Atlanta I of course had to get sick. I have a sore throat and a bit of an upset stomach. I cough and I'm tired. I thought I was coming down with tonsilitis but I'm not. I'd be a lot sicker if this were tonsilitis.

I don't care. I always get sick in Atlanta. I used to get sick with one thing or another every time I came up here for a day trip. What else is new. I hope both my cats stay healthy. Lysistrata ate a rubber band last night. It was only a small one and it may not have been the first she ate. It has been fifteen hours since she ate it, so it should just come out the other end...I hope.

Right now Lysistrata is walking around on top of Lou's dresser. She is also watching cat TV at the big window in the study. This is a front apartment and you can always hear the traffic come by. It makes a comfortable whooshing sound. The neighbors upstairs are silent. The neighbors bback in Columbus weren't that noisey beyond ordinary people noises. I called the wife Thumper. A woman in flipflops goes thump! Her eight year old daughter was Thumper Junior! A girl in flipfolps goes thump! And then when her toddler learned to walk he became Little Thumper. Toddlers don't walk quietly. Beside thumping, Little Thumper was famous for melt downs. At least these did not sound like unhappy cat noises. Sometimes a crying baby sounds like a crying cat. Little Thumper was too big for that.

Well, I have most of a whole day ahead of me and temperatures are in the seventies. I feel great about that. I have three and a half days wtih all of Atlanta to explore, money in my wallet, an ATM card for more, and no work. This is the best vacation I have had in a very long while, but it is more than a vacation. The only comparable experiences I have had have been my orientations for Cornell and Syracuse. I decided after Syracuse, that this was pretty much it. I'd be working for the rest of my life and I'd never get another experience where I moved in to a new town with a great feeling of expectation and that feeling of "Wow this is the place!"

Moving to Atlanta feels just like I felt when I arrived in Ithaca in August of 1980. I look around and think: "Wow! I have arrived! This is it!" and then I don't really believe I am here. I thought you only get that feeling once in a life time. Now at nearly forty-four, I have the same feeling again. How many people get such a second chance? How many people are this lucky?


Sunday, March 19, 2006

by Eileen Kramer

I got a letter back from my prisoner who is Diane's son. This means I have to write him back and explain what Atlas Shrugged is about without any spoilers. That is not an easy task even if I were writing to someone in prison. Writing to Shawn is a total VENGANCE VICTORY since his mother is clearly antiBrainstormish and any thing that helps an antiBrainstormish person is fighting Brainstorms and its ideals, a task to which I have dedicated my life.

So what am I doing here? Well self expression is important. Does that answer your question. It is more important than community. I have to remember that. I always have God as my audience. Shout it out! Loud and proud! Woo-hoo! Passion and joy are the orders of the day here.

Meanwhile, I still miss Neopets. I think I want a world with a clickable image map. That will give PHATCH pets something to write about that is not depressing. Yes, I still make it a point to write PHATCH. PHATCH is my Play Pretend Neopets and it rocks, just like my Play Pretend Brainstorms rocks. I just have to remember to keep up the good work.

I have to figure out a way to get active with LOTH again. I am going to have to visit the boards and read them regularly and just lurk much the way I did with RAOK and with Home is Where the Heart Is. Sorry these are closed boards so you can't visit. Sometimes I just read and don't comment. The language of no-crit and light conversation comes slowly. 40-55Heart and Friends is a harder group to penetrate. Its board is mainly greetings. I guess I have my work cut out for me and I'll do it because vengance is important!

Well I've moved from creative destruction to packing though I may be back with some creative destruction soon. I have one and a half duffles packed and the top shelf of my closet is more or less empty as is one dresser drawer and a few odd spots. All the paperwork in the computer room is packed. The pantry and kitchen cupboards and the bathroom are all junk free. This is a big improvement. I am seeing empty corners in this apartment that I forgot existed.

Yesterday I got oversized boxes and bubble wrap. Most of the double walled boxes, heck all of them, are still at work. That is not good because I want to try packing the carousel music box that sits on my night table.

None of the linens or bedding got washed this weekend, but that is because I had to work and I have to work today too. I also needed to get boxes and oddly enough, I need to grocery shop. I face running out of cat food, apples, and tea. Because I am moving (My date is the 28th of March!) and because it is getting close to Passover I can't buy any more grain or bean products so "use it up" is a byword around here.I was going to make rice salad, but the rice I made this morning for tonight's dinner came out too sticky.

Outside I hear the airplanes for the air show. I call this yearly event, Idiots in the Sky. It's real name is Thunder Over Columbus. I am working this weekend and can not go anyway, but even if I could the noise gets to me after a couple of hours. It's like someone constantly mowing their lawn in your ear. Yes, I live near the airport. No, it's usually not that bad since this is a small city and the airport is not that busy. The air show planes though are the super noisey type. I don't know how people going to the show can stand it.

Also yesterday, I saw my first azaleas blooming. They were hot pink and hot magenta and a few white ones. They are garish but smell good. I have been looking forward to the azaleas ever since I got my new job. These are probably the last Columbus azaleas I'll ever see.

I also made an intelligent decision not to go to schul Friday night. I don't need to hear the rabbi's brand of Judaism where he tears others down to build up "our beautiful tradition." If that is our tradition, it is far from beautiful. I don't have to legitimize what this rabbi is doing by showing up at services either. Yeah, you can say I finally got smart. I don't feel particularly smart though, just deprived. Sometimes no matter what you do, you come up deprived.


Saturday, March 18, 2006

by Eileen Kramer

Well vengance is proceeding smoothly. I've posted a bit to Home is Where the Heart Is. It is a closed MSN group. I would not have joined a closed group when it started, but it got closed afterwards and I've hung on though not been too active. I have more MSN style pressies and need to mount them in a gallery, when I ever find the time. I never find the time.

I am trying to make headway in 40-55Heart and Home, another MSN group. Neither of these groups are one bit Brainstormish so they are allies should we ever have to fight Brainstormers. I have to make friends in the right places. 40-55Heart and Home is slow going though. Everyone knows everyone else and I feel funny being a complete stranger and offering sympathy.

Home is Where the Heart Is, on the other hand, offers lots of ice breakers. Meanwhile, I've got the common complaint about Ghostletters. It is such a common complaint it is a cliche. The same five or six people post all the time on a list of ninty. There is a huge silent audience and at times my posts get ignored which reminds me that God is my ultimate audience. He always looks over my shoulder when I write, so I must keep writing. Self expression after all is more important than community so write I do and I self tag and have a great time. This is a typical example of making lemonade out of the lemons life gives you.

I'd also like to say a word about Restless Woods the outside board for my guild at Neopets, not that I play Neopets anymore. I've been gone for nearly two weeks. See I even said "play Neopets." I do miss Neopets, but I know that the place is poison so I stay away. My very good aministrator guild kiddies started a teen blog that has turned transgressive. It is not obscene and I think the kids should have a right to write this stuff, but I also can find no place in it. I did not do this as a teen so anything I'd write would be fraudulent. Also I'm forty-three years old and it doesn't feel right to participate in teen sex role play in a forum that lacks other mature adults. I wish the kids on the role play luck. I am playing the one adult character. The owner has said she does not want a profusion of adult characters. I got something good started and now I have to let that something good go. I guess I'll survive. This is NOT a vengance set back. It is just the way it goes.

I got seven double wall boxes at work which means free dish barrels and in a short while, a colleague is picking me up to get big boxes and bubble wrap. This means that after a bit more creative destruction, I can start packing. If I pack too early I won't have anything available to live with in the apartment. That will be very sad indeed. If I pack too late, I'll be terribly rushed.

It also looks like there will be no farewell dinner because no one can get together to do it and I got sick on the best date. Of course I can solve this quite easily by going out by myself. I can even bring a notebook to write down work recollections and play pretend dialog. You know this would be a GREAT real world test of play pretend. I could publish the results right here and I wouldn't be one bit deprivd. Maybe I'll take myself out to eat tonight. There is nothing to stop me from eating in restaurants by myself.

I wish I could write more here, but work related stuff is off limits and my life right now revolves around the ending of a job I never talked about much anyway.


Thursday, March 16, 2006

by Eileen Kramer

I was so busy grading today and running errands that I did not do my hard core play pretend Brainstorms. That stank. Yes, it was a VENGANCE SETBACK through pure laziness.

Actually it went to a good cause. My time on Neopets has really sensitized me to disinformation disguised as advertising. The food booth at Publix that really sells premade foods (like precut apples -- yuck!) rather than teaches people to cook, is a prime example. The little cardboard inserts encouraging children's exercise in Subway which is not all that healthy but a fun treat are another. I don't know what one does about that, but I did some looking around at this site. No, this is a VENGANCE SETBACK too since I believe staunchly in the free market and free enterprise as part of my life mission of vengance against all things Brainstormish.

The problem is where do poor quality products and manufactured consent fit into the process. I have no problem with say McDonalds or Subway advertising the best sandwiches in town. Subway's sandwiches are downright tastey and they have a nice variety of chips, and all the Dr. Pepper you can guzzle, and McDonalds has their devotees lined up at the drive in window. When they start making false claims about the products and doing public relations instead of selling product, they've crossed a line, at least to my way of thinking.

And Publix food booth teaches people not to cook while pretending to teach them to cook. The recipe card which I looked at had no conversions for using unprepared ingredients. I'd be doing a lot of checking conversion tables in cookbooks and on the web before I could make this recipe because I will not buy pre cut up food. First, my mother taught me how to use a knife. Second, when you cut up something and sell it, it increases the surface area so it decreases quality, and gives bacteria more place to invade and more place for the food to just dry out. Second, in the food cutting up plant, the cutters are going to cut up every apple or every potato that is edible. If they find one with a bad spot, or that is one you'd pass up, they'll cut it up too and throw the bad part away. If I cut up my own produce, I only buy nice ones and I make the decision if I add anything afflicted to what I cook.

So what does one do about lies and misinformation masquerading as honest advertising. How does one counter this rotten message with a good one? Web sites come to mind but who visits personal web sites? Setting up a table also works, but Publix and Subway are on private property. I even think Publix on Macon Road is an otherwise great supermarket which is why I hate to see them doing this kind of thing. Also I don't want my dislike for lying ads to undermine my belief in profit, free enterprise, or free markets. This is a tough one.

I spent today buying food for CALA, grading, and working the reference desk. I managed to secure a supply of boxes for Monday and Saturday and some bubble wrap so it looks like I'm making progress even though I've been too wiped out to work and pack. This stomach virus cost me days I did not think I had. I am hosting again for CALA tomorrow and we are still short of paper goods. I'll have to have that taken care of by 6pm.

All that said, I signed and paid for the move which is now scheduled for some time on the 28th of March. I don't want to think about how much packing I have yet to do. It scares me and with good reason. I told my boyfriend on the phone tonight that he has never dismantled a house. This will be my second or third time. Each time there is more stuff, though I've held the accumulation down the past few years. I guess I can give myself a pat on the back for that.

Tomorrow is a swing shift day. Tomorrow Plant Ops comes by here at 11am to pick up my extra books and old LP records and take them to the library where I am donating them to the book sale. They are going to good homes and that is a good feeling. I don't like throwing books away. I'll be more creatively destructive about clothes and never used tooks and tchachkes.

My spiritual life is oddly improved this week. I managed to talk with a couple of friends about Neopets. It is a strange conversation but part of me still wants to go back because it misses the images which formed a kind of language. I have no one with whom to share that language now. Part of me is effectively mute or like those aborigines who are the last of their kind with their own tongue that no one else shares.


Monday, March 13, 2006

by Eileen Kramer

I went back to work while still recovering from a stomach virus so there is not much vengance news to report. I'm not sure if Ghostletters qualifies as vengance or not. The only good news is it looks like I know have enough graphics, including the border pieces, to put up my first page of pressies in months.

Now I have to summon my energy to go over to my MSN Groups. MSN Groups are extremely anti-Brainstormish. Any one, even those without pull, status, or technical savvy can start one. It just takes posting to one regularly to keep one alive. Isn't that terrific! Anyway, the one I want to work with has that funny telegraphic language in it and that takes some getting used to.

And yes, part of me wants to go back to Neopets. I tell myself it is to investigate the Last of the Smilies Game. I think it is sponsored by the company that puts all the malware on people's machines, Smiley Central, bad news. I don't mind presweetened cereal. I don't mind movies. I wouldn't even mind McDonalds if they wanted to advertise their sandwiches and fries which is their business, not being nutritious.

I know once I get back to Neopets, I'll want to buy a blobagus for Nasmath_of_Roanna and I'll be back to whoring my eyeballs for Neopoints. I don't want to start that cycle all over again. Writing on this blog or at PHATCH is a much better use of my time.

I did no packing today but I picked my mover and tried to get Plant Ops out here to pick up books and LP's for the library book sale. That will mean four more boxes that don't have to go to Decatur.

I ate a regular dinner tonight. I am still constipated and have a fiercely irritable bowel but can eat a normal stomach. Even my colleague/supervisor, Erma, noticed I was tired. I am tired. I've been desperate for sleep all evening. I'm glad I cooked though and I'm glad I ate. I'll be able to take my slightly unsettled stomach to bed and my partially empty bowel along with it.

I missed Purim celebrations tonight at schul. I feel sad about that but they started at 5:30pm and my job runs until 6pm. I disappeared Friday afternoon due to this stomach virus so you can imagine that I couldn't just step out early. I wish the fat cats who run my schul realize that there are adults who work fairly rigid schedules.

Purim means it is only a month to Pesach. When I pack the food, I will pack away the chmaetz which I simply won't open. That reminds me I need labels. I was able to buy two more boxes and there are more boxes downstairs in Instructional Technology waiting for me so once my strength is back, I'll be able to pack on work nights too.

Packing involves creative destruction. I have to have the strength to haul stuff. Tomorrow though I need the strength to teach and to wheel books on a cart to Lenoir since my class is doing New York Times Indexes. I hope Carole comes with me and that she is a help. She is a good egg.

There is a CALA meeting on Thursday and I have to buy junk food for that as well as ice. I can feel my stomach protest in response. I think I need to get some sleep.


Sunday, March 12, 2006

by Eileen Kramer

OK, it's time for a masthead. Let's run one up! Woo-hop let's proclaim it with passion and joy because passion and joy rule on this blog! IT WAS WORTH IT! It was worth it to get kicked out of Brainstorms. It is worth it to be who I am, to do what I do, and to say what I say, though unfortunatley, I was polite as pie until the end and then I gave them what for. I have a PLAY PRETEND BRAINSTORMS and that rocks. It is ten times better than the original. Everyone should take advantage of the power of play pretend. It is a great alternative to put up or shut up. Play pretend on line today and do it without shame and with joy and passion!

IT WAS WORTH IT! It is worth it to have my Roanna_np1 account frozen on Neopets. It was worth it to express myself. It was worth more than all the Neopoints in the world. I still play my frozen pets on PHATCH and that rocks. My pets are more alive now than when I could reach them through Neopets database. The word is mightier than some dumb database and a bunch of dumb rules. I did establish another account on Neopets and even painted a pet before I saw the light. Today is my one week anniversary of being Neopets free.

I miss not buying a petpet for Nasmath_of_Roanna. I need to bring her to life as a public domain creature and make her that petpet. I finally did come up with a public domain image for Jalepinio21. You can see it here.

a rainbow echidna

Yes, Jalepinio21 is a mammal now, a monotreme to be exact but that is cool! I kind of like her this way better. I haven't played her yet. I don't know what I'm going to do with the other three pets. I am in the process of packing and I also have a nasty stomach virus that refuses to clear up. I guess I'll just have to tough it out. I have to remember discipline beats tears and keep my discipline even if things move a bit more slowly than I would like.

I wrote to the young gentleman in prison so that is a class one VENGANCE VICTORY I'll write to him again in a day or two. I know that I am actually doing something in real life to support an antiBrainstormish person so that is great for vengance. It is probably the best VENGANCE VICTORY in a long time.

I may be sick but I can still shout it out loud and proud. Woo-hoo! Passion and joy rule the day and I won't let a dumb stomach virus get me down! No way!

Well the big news and the reason I have been absent the last two days is that I came down with a rathe rugly stomach virus which I still have. I barfed in my office wastebasket Friday, and all I threw up were four sips of tea. I feared I could not keep liquids down. I went home sick and sipped gingerale in bed. I slept a lot. I still tire easily and nothing I eat sets. My mush did not set this morning, though it is going to stay down. I hate when my digestive tract plays cruel tricks on me. I'm rarin to go and my stomach gets in the way.

I've packed nearly everything in the study/computer room except the computer which is good. I have two boxes of books and obsolete software and one box of records that I need to get to Columbus State so they can be sold in the book sale.

I also cleaned off the outside duffle that was dusty and set it to dry and cleaned out the cat crates. The cats' litter pans are changed too so the house is a bit better smelling. I tried eating green peas last night and ended up in bed sweating and aching but I did not barf them up. Everything I eat stays down, but nothing sets. I am also distressingly constipated and gassy and bloated. I guess that comes with the territory.

It is warm here and that would make it great weather to go get a couple of more boxes at the U-haul place whcih is oepn to 5pm but I have to husband my strength due to the silly virus.

I also have two estimates from movers. The cheaper mover treated me like dirt, but the more expensive one is a hundred and fifty dollars more. Monday I will choose a mover. I will have a move date then. Lou still says he is coming down to help me. I don't know what I will do if he does not come to help me. I do know and it is expensive.

I still have to strip and wash all the bedding in this apartment and go and get more boxes. I have vague offers of help from colleagues but they are...vague as yet of course.

Friday night I was supposed to go out to dinner with colleagues. My barfing performance in the office finished that one off. I can't describe how awful that is. It feels like the universe is conspring against me but I must stand up and fight. I'll fight until I die in my tracks. It would be nice to make it through the day without mild persistent stomach cramps. I also know that realistically this could go on for weeks. Boy this virus expletive deleteds but life goes on. Discipline is the key.


Wednesday, March 08, 2006

by Eileen Kramer

I guess I can say it. I haven't played Neopets in three days. Actually played is just plain the wrong word. I have stayed away for three days and that is what counts. Neopets is the wrong place. They used me. I dislike being used. They censored me. I dislike being censored. I miss the images and the pretty colors and not having to do much work and being able to use it to fill the empty spaces. Some of the games were fun, but playing them to earn points made them work.

Perversely enough, that kind of work was oddly satisfying. I am very vulnerable to behavioralism. Behaviorialism is a subtle form of mind control. It takes inner strength to stand up to it and say: "Your values are not my values. You can not punish me and your rewards are meaningless."

I stand up every time I write about the pets from my old account on PHATCH. My PHATCH stories always turn out sad, but pets that are not quite fully human and surely not animals are sad characters by definition and being left to go where my imagination takes them, means they journey down some very dark roads. At least they journey. I do want to create a world of their own for my pets, something as bright and cheerful as what they left behind. The fact that PHATCH is set in Utica, New York complete with a long grey winter does not help matters. I don't know what I had in mind when I put PHATCH together. I've abandoned the PHATCH economy by the way and just do the role play.

I also want to say I am very proud of the good administrative skill kids whom I've nurtured, albeit rather minimally, Phaseolus. My Neopian guild. They now have an outside board. You can visit it here. It may not look like much if you don't know Neopian role plays. I'm having competing vision problems with the board but otherwise I don't mind. The kids have a good sense of humor and here they can write freely without censorship getting in the way. Restless Woods is the one good thing that Phaseolus did and still does.

Yesterday, I told the kids on Restless Woods/Phaseolus where I stood with Neopets. I still have my membership. When I'm not as tempted to do anything with it, I may try going on Neopets once a week or month just to keep my account from being purged. I told them since the guild layout and graphics are mine, I will return to Neopets to do updates, but otherwise I am not going back except for one secret project which right now thankfully doesn't need me.

In other news, I am stymied and writer's blocked with both Kids in Full and Watermargin3. It is a sad state of affairs. I believe self expression is the most important thing in the world too. More important than friends or community. I am stuck though and my writing muscles feel weak and flabby. That is a scarey feeling.

Meanwhile, I found out I used up all my stationary so I am going to have to make some letterhead/stationary of my own using PSP. I found out much to my chagrin that I am out of colored ink, so need to go to Office Max after work to get more. Vengance can get expensive, but I want to do a nice job writing to Diane's son. The young man does not deserve to read my chicken scratch and if the letters can include interesting decorations, so much the better. I like doing all this electronically. It will make a fun graphic project, and it is a class A #1 VENGANCE VICTORY.

I've got my work cut out for me. I also want to learn how to make image maps again. I know there are two methods for making them. This way I can make PHATCH a clickable world something like Neopets though I'll never duplicate the database. I suppose, I could learn how to build and handle a SQL or Access database, but the kind of programming that sustains the Neopets database is beyond me. I have to be a bit realistic.

My experience with the mover yesterday was disenheartening to say the least. He did not look like he really wanted the work. He tallied everything up and sounded disappointed when he found out that I was going to pack myself. I'm a small job, but the world is full of small jobs. Anyway, I won't have an estimate from him until Thursday. By then I will have seen two other movers. Hopefully things will be better by then. That is tomorrow. They had better be.

I am also having trouble finding boxes. No one seems to have them. I am going to have to go to U-Haul wherever that is and buy boxes. I don't know where that is. I have two disks burned and have to burn two or three more to have all my stuff from work in portable form. This is very important to me. A lot of people might not understand it. I hope you do.

Anyway, one of this weekend's jobs is to find boxes. Tonight's job is to pack out as much of the desk and bookshelves and living room cupboard as possible. I also am going to drag some stuff I don't want out to the trash. That may hurt since I am throwing away stuff that seems to be good. It will feel very weird. I am not sure I am up for doing any of this. It reminds me that I am leaving. I am going some place much better, but I am still leaving.

I close my eyes and imagine the world outside is very grey even though part of me is still stuck in a celebration mode. It is spring and I can celebrate. I am not sure where the grey is coming from or why. It is just there. My apartment is a wreack. I still have plenty of time to pack. I want a warm day where I can spend time outside and not get my period.

My colleague/supervisor is taking me out to eat on Friday. I sometimes try to play the restaurant through my head. No eating out will make me feel good again. I did too much of it when I job interviewed. That hurts.

Also my spiritual life is in disarray. I washed out this morning and when I have contact it is desperately unsatisfying. This started when I was job hunting and I want desperately to get it back. It is a part of me and not having it hurts. I feel as if I were robbed of something important. I don't deserve to be robbed of something that is this important and this personal.


Monday, March 06, 2006

by Eileen Kramer

My role playing life suffered a setback. This is not a vengance set back but the new board, Poison Ink Quills, for which I got accepted on Sunday morning vanished without a trace. That really expletive deleteds.

I started writing again at my own role play, and even did a PHATCH episode. I may start another role play but I'm not sure what. Away from Neopian style role plays, my own more historical and gritty realist role play style will take over. I forget at times that it is good to own the pass key and at other times it is a NECESSITY.

I have a big time VENGANCE VICTORY in the works. I was part of some real life (not Brainstorms' slang) social capital. A bunch of us by writing letters of encouragement to Diane got her to stay with the Godsmanna list. I owe Diane big time for helping me liberate myself from the Sondheim Empire and find the right people to hang around with and support online. Sometimes people just have a big influence on you. Well, Diane gave the list the address of her son in jail.

I can't tell all of you what a coup this is. A person in jail is low on social capital by anyone's definition and part of my life of vengance against Brainstorms is to befriend and support those with low social capital. Diane's son is not in federal prison for a violent offense so I'll be writing him. It will be an honor. I plan to write one letter per week, as soon as I have some color ink for my printer. Since I have to run another errand tomorrow I'll get the ink at the same time. This will be fun. I will make images and pressies for real life letters. That will be the best. I figure decorated letters will be better than plain ones. I also want to download some neat fonts. This will be a great project.

I've also decided to crack the language of the 40-55 Friendship board over at MSNgroups. MNSGroups are great for those with low social capital (Brainstorms' definition) and this group has always had a bafflingly opaque style. It is time for me to learn a new language. These folks are most likely to be oppressed and attacked by Brainstomers as part of taking care of business in real life or in political type situations. The day will come and I want to be able to have these people to defend as well. The more nonBrainstormish folks who stand to be victims/enemies the better my chances of being able to fight Brainstormers will be. Vengance is all about strategic location.

And kid yourself not, vengance takes hard work. By the way if any one should ask me about my mission of vengance, I will be happy to tell them my entire story and debunk all those preachers and motivational speakers when I tell them that vengance is a great thing. Here I am feeling good as I go to work and plan my next move. Nothing beats vengance. Onward and upward. Smiles are the newest fashion for the vengance seeker. Discipline beats tears! Woo-hoo! Shout it out loud and proud.

Yes, and it's time for the masthead. IT WAS WORTH IT to be kicked out of Brainstorms. It is worth it to do what I do, be who I am, and say what I said though lord knows I was way too polite until the end when I finally gave them what for and now my life is dedicated to vengance against all things Brainstormish.

I also have my Play Pretend Brainstorms and it is ten times better than the original. Play Pretend empowers. It is the great alternative to put up and shut up. Try play pretend for yourself and do it every day. It is fantastic. You don't have to let go and move on. Just make a bit of play pretend time for yourself like I do!

I did my taxes tonight. I have to wait until tomorrow to send them because I am out of stamps and I also have to get to a xerox machine to make copies. I don't know why I make copies of my tax returns, but that is part of the ritual. Both the federal and state returns took less than two hours. I am one of those people who uses a 1040A form rather than taking a hairy fit over a form 1040. Taxes are just a matter of following directions.

I will have to pay state income taxes but I will be getting a refund back from the federal government. You would not believe the hoops I jumped through to get my savings account number. I mean who knows that thing off the top of their head? I bank online and was able to find it there. I felt rather clever after doing that.

Today was staff development day at work and we got to eat a free lunch out at the Golden Corral. After lunch we had a long tour and presentation at a museum. The guide was one of my colleagues' husbands. He was very very good and the exhibits were interesting. I was sad to see the day end.

I am still achey and sick from my period. I think nerves have something to do with it. I tried to burn CD's tonight but my employer's server had crashed. I hope it is up in the morning and that the problem is nothing serious.

I did not make minestrone soup tonight because my stomach was bothering me. Did I eat too much lunch? Who knows. I ate Wheatena and carrot salad. That is a good combination. I will make the soup and wash my hair tomorrow. At least the taxes are out of the way, and that is a good thing.

Tomorrow I get my first mover estimate and I can also begin to pack what is in the desk. If I remember to bring book boxes home I can start going through my books as well. I'll go over to beg more boxes at CINS on campus and I'll also try at the cafeteria. Maybe someone has some nice big sturdy boxes for me. I need to find a way to wash off the cat crates. They got sootey. I also need to wash off my dusty duffle bag that has the five other big moving duffles in it. I may be able to pack some clothes. I am trying to pack around myself but am doing it way too slowly. I probably will pick up a bit once I have a definite move date.

I almost forgot but could not forget. Today thirty-one years ago I walked into Ardsley Middle School and found out that tragedy had struck. Marie Benedicts, a nice kid who sat in front of me in homeroom and math, had died in a house fire caused by an exploding gas furnace. She was a happy thirteen year old seventh grader with light brown hair worn in bangs. The spring before she and a friend had won the picture contest and got to put a mural up on the glass outside the cafeteria. I thought the contest was rigged. I don't think the mural was that good. I still don't. I remember the designs we all drew. The teaches liked Marie and her friend better than they liked me.

Marie was probably an ordinary kid. She was no saint. It feels strange that down here in Columbus, Georgia that I am the only person who knows who she was and has no idea who she might be. I am glad she is more than just a memory in my head even though I have never met her through any of my spirit contact. Harva's experience in of losing a peer in I Know a Secret is based on the death of Marie Benedicts.

How often when I came home from college or just home to visit did I walk to 13 Wildwood Lane on the side of the high school to look at the rebuilt Benedicts House. Marie's mother and brother survived the fire. Her father did not. There is a scholarship in her name at Ardsley High School. I'm not sure it is still in operation. I hope it is. There is a tree planted as a memorial to her in front of Ardsley Middle School. There is a generation of people now in their forties who remember that they lost a comrade, friend, contemporar, call it what you will at age twelve and thirteen.

I never knew Marie very well. She was not a burnout. She was not a rowdy. I envied her as being luckier and happier than I was because I was pretty miserable at twelve. I wouldn't have minded switching places with her I thought when she died, but it was my fate to grow up and live in this world. It was not Marie's. I do not know what she thinks of that. She could think any number of things. If she is like any of the spirits I have worked with, she DID NOT finish growing up in anythign remotely like Ardsley, New York. This would make her a very interesting person if she ever got a chance to speak to her living peers. Then again, there are lots of ways to grow up and lots of sabes on the other side so who knows. I don't know. I don't need to know. I doubt Marie remembers me and that is all for the best. I remember her, because she died and sat in front of me and that death became a symbol on which I could hang my own misery. The real Marie who is out there somewhere is not ZOIDRubashov's symbol. Enough said.

I left Ardsley, Marie. I left Westchester. I flew off the whole psychological map, twice, each time farther away. Then I tried to come back. I had to come back. I got my dream city instead. Of course the whole multiverse of Ha'Shem's big world is filled with dream cities. How many of them have you seen? You've got no reason to speak to me and never have, but I bet you just might know.

Like you, I never reproduced, not that I couldn't. My family knows where I am and doesn't really miss me. Your family doesn't know your exact location even if they know it is somewhere, but they probably still miss you. I finally got my act together as a student and get it together periodically in the workplace.

I have a thing for technology and words and writing. I'm still a tad scruffy. I still love cats. I've learned to cook for myself and code web pages. I fulfilled my mother's dreams of studying the mathematics she missed in high school and studied economics because my father asked me to in college. I got a science degree to prove I could even though it was Biology and Society. I went to Cornell because it was my parents' alma mater and because the size of the place was big enough for me to lose myself occasionally and temporarily which was just fine.

I wanted lots of choices and most of the time made pretty decent ones. Somewhere I learned how to decide and was always grateful when I could make a decision. The bigger the decision the better I liked it. I suppose you don't know that about me. You've had no reason to know or to care. We didn't know each other that well when you were alive and now, face it, I probably don't mean squat to you, yet through all that I still remember. You mean something to me, a bit more than you did to a very unhappy and spiritually hungry seventh grader who sat behind you. I know the universe is full of many parallel paths and I am one one. You are on another and most of humanity is on a lot of other trails. I wish you the best tonight. I hope you can understand. I think you can.


Sunday, March 05, 2006

by Eileen Kramer

Well I stopped playing Neopets today. I did play this morning but I have not gone back tonight. Seeing an inoccuous role play get pulled and thinking of all those hours I spent whoring my eyeballs to paint my skeith left me soured on the place. Quite simply, there is a difference between working for a goal and letting oneself be exploited. All the positive reenforcement in the world does not change that.

Only one thing will draw me back and that is possibly playing with a poublic domain personna for Nasmath_of_Roanna and ddog45 and getting their pet pages set up. I may do something for the pets on yet another account that is like that too and then if I want virtual pets the place to play with them is PHATCH.

That said, I had a nice VENGANCE VICTORY tonight. I fixed up Play Pretend Unlimited which now houses the old Third Rail and the Run Amuck Board and cleaned up the top and got this blog out of there and added new categories and posted. The Play Pretend felt great though it came out a bit sharp. I must admit I am a bit rusty but with Neopets out of the picture, I'll have time to keep my vengance edge sharp through daily play pretend.

I am attempting to join yet another role play board. We'll see how this goes. I wrote a Purim role play told through Queen Vashti's eyes. I know very original right? OK, maybe it's not so common among teen role players.

I've also been active with Ghostletters. Mostly my characters talk about food. They like jello and jellied salads. They are in to old fashioned American comfort food and much of their action happens in kitchens. Nearly all the action takes place in Ithaca and occasionally on the Cornell campus, but mostly in town. The nostalgia factor is just great. I like writing Ghostletters a lot.

I got my period today. I got it in the weirdest way. I went three miles up to Wal-Mart to buy toilet paper and packing tape and also to eat a late lunch/early dinner at Blimpie's. Well the Blimpie's was closed for remodeling so I had junkfood instead. I sat outside the Wal-Mart reading Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged and feeling like the world's biggest piece of art imitating life. I wonder what old Ayn would think of Wal-Mart? I mean she goes in for heavy industry and engineering but giant discount retail totally escapes her. I wrote one Gav and Peloso episode with Ayn Rand visiting a huge convenience store and liking it a lot.

I then visited the outside garden department and saw some wooden rocking chairs. I tried one out and the sun was warm and I thought it would be great to rest or meditate and I fell asleep. What woke me up were fierce drawing cramps in my thighs. I thought this is either the world's worst attack of nerves or.... I headed into Hobby Lobby, found my way to the rest room, and wondered how I would make it home. I was in that much pain. I took two naproxen and sat on a shelf in the corner of the rear of Hobby Lobby and waited for the pills to kick in which they fortunately did. I am nearly pain free right now. This month lasted twenty-four days. It was a short month. I guess I am getting older.

Well, I did get the toilet paper and packing tape which means I can start packing the two boxes I got from computer services tomorrow. I burned two CD's with my webliographies today. Tomorrow if I can sneak into work, I'll get the outlines for the last three classes and begin burning those materials. None of this is that difficult. It just bings the finality of my relocation home.

It also brings the closeness of it home too. Right now what I want to do is spend money. Some of that is good. I bought a new sketch diary today and I stopped by the Dewdropscents soap booth. They had all kinds of booths in the mall, and fancy soap is good for my rotten skin. I also bought a new purse. I finally went to Penny's and they had a real shoulder bag with a good strap and even a few sequins. It is light orange which is a very pretty color. It is bright but not as bright as silver or gold.

On the downside, I went in to the San Rio store and they no longer have the Chococat office supplies. I also visited Macy's and they have brown Hushpuppies oxfords for fifty dollars. I should try them on and see if they fit since my brown shoes are going. I wear shoes out so easily because I actually use them for walking.

Macy's also had towels on sale. I realize I should have a new set of towels for the apartment. The sale towels are even the pretty striped ones instead of the solid ones. This is what I get for hanging around the mall.

I also have this irrational desire for one to four shirts from Hollister. I like the store because it is named after a town that was founded by a family in California that at one time was quite wealthy. I knew a scion of that family, John Hollister, and he told me somewhat shamefacedly about that town and about his family. Well I know the secret but I'm the only one down here in Georgia who doesn't think that Hollister is just another brand name and that there aren't real Hollisters out there somewhere.

The shirts in Hollister are a bit pricey but they feel nice an soft and come in gorgeous colors. I have plenty of short sleeved shirts though I suppose a few nice polo shirts wouldn't hurt. This is my solitary celebration, spending money. I spend it because I make it and there will be more every month. What could be better?


Friday, March 03, 2006

by Eileen Kramer

I went through a pulled role play on Neopets that left me paranoid. It was a beach house role play. We had five players and I was the odd male left out. The fun part of the role play, and the part I enjoyed was the absolute rudeness of the two couples to the man that was left out. Someone suggested a female so my character could pair off. That never flew. The role play got pulled before then. The solution would have just been a little politeness and gracious behavior.

I didn't mind though. Bad behavior in real life makes good role plays. It provided nice plot traction. The ironic part in all this is that two games on Neopets, the Adventures of Aquamarine and the Return of the Pink Panther contain scenes that would be illegal for kids or adults to role play on Neopets. In the Pink Panther games, one of the photographs shows a woman lounging laciviously on a couch. She is fully clothed but enjoying a glass of champagn with Inspector Clumseau. I should get a screen shot of this. Another screen shot from the Adventures of Aquamarine shows the mermaid covering up what are obviously naked breasts with her arms and another shows her kissing the male romantic lead. Needless to say, kids can't write about kissing on Neopets.

Hey, those pictures in this context are covered by the Fair Use clause of US Copyright Law so let me get them downloaded and stuck on my server. Now you too can view Neopian hypocrisy at its finest. OK, let's start with the Pink Panther.

Xania and Clouseau enjoy some champaign

A formal party where a fourteen year old character of mine enjoyed a coke at a bar at the Doral Hotel in Miami got me reported but it is perfectly OK for a sponsor to depict a scene like the one above in a role play. I guess Roanna_np did not have Touchstone or Disney's bucks.

read the writing

Here are game instructions. A role play that had a plot like this, even using the exact language would be pulled. The beach house board I was on tonight where kids just went out to dinner in pairs got pulled. Of course middle schooler's do not have Disney's big bucks. Intellectual freedom only belongs with those who have the big bucks on Neopets.

Aquamarine1

Aquamarine2

First, please take a careful look a the mermaid, Aquamarine. These are both screen shots from the Neopets sponsor game, Aquamarine's Adventure. If you take a look at the mermaid, you will notice she is naked from the waist up. She is turned to the side and her hair like that of Lady Godiva hides her breasts. This is partial nudity but it would be forbidden on the Neopets boards.

Moreover, if your characters in a role play do what Aquamarine and Ray are doing in the second picture, you stand a very good chance of losing your account. Of course ordinary users are not paying sponsors, and as in life Neopets treats paying sponsors differently.

I am not against the images sponsors use. I just wish ordinary users could enjoy the same freedoms. Text, is usually far tamer than graphics, and if Neopets lets kids and teens see these images as a way to make Neopoints, then it has no reason not to let ordinary players write about such things.

The reason you have not seen such pictures before is that most players who lose accounts for intellectual freedom issues on the role play boards are kids who are low status individuals with no rights and therefore little recourse and second most adult observers of Neopets are not actual members. Well now the whole world who visits this blog can see Neopets' hypocrisy for real. No it's not illegal. Yes, it is unjust, and I ought to vote with my feet as far as Neopets is concerned.

Meanwhile I have a good mind to start a beach house role play on either YupYupYup or on Mature Lovers. I wrote another episode in Nasmath's role play today and enjoyed it. I find having multiple role plays is like running my own TV station. It doesn't compete well with Disney but what the heck. At least I think my story is truer.

My first mover was supposed to come by and give me an estimate at 1:30pm today but she had to postpone and reschedule due to a sick kid. One thing this whole job hunt business has done is make me one very adamant child free.

Now I think kids are great. I think new born babies are ugly, but once kids can walk and talk even toddlers are cute. I especially like toddlers. I would not mind being an aunt or an older sister, but having any of my own, that's another story.

It does not take much to start playing "what if" and the job hunt had me playing it a lot. "What if" started out as "Thank God" "Thank God," I would say "that I have no husband or children to drag down itno this." Of course if I had a husband or children, I might well have lost my profession. If the husband had been happily settled and employed here I would have had no geographic mobility and jobs doing what I do are in a national market. I had to be willing to relocate, but if I had a husband with a job and children in the schools would that be possible? Would I be looking to stay home, start my own business, work from home, find a new profession? I'd have to put my work in second place behind other people and I can't tell you how that expletive deleteds.

Second and more plausibly, if I had moved a husband and kids here and there's actually a very good question whether I would have relocated in 1998, I would have been a lot more careful about what I did on the job that I am leaving. I was not a happy employee. I won't go into details, but I might have taken preventative measures, yet that might have left me stuck in a job where I was not a happy employee. Ever hear of a no win situation?

And here are more war stories. I watched a student employee where I work have two children over three years. She went from being a gorgeous skinny girl with beautifully died and done hair and a bit of independence to a frumpy thing who had to rely on her mother for babysitting. She also got stuck with all that babyweight to lose and a husband which will make any career change a two body problem with day care and family issues drawn in for good measure. I watched this young girl sacrfice her beauty, youth, and independence...and for what?

Here is story number two. A gentleman who owns the convenience store around the corner from my apartment married and had two children. He got into a scanadal on his job, got depressed, got divorced, moved out of state to here. He sends home support payments but does not have a close relationship with these kids. Well he got married a while ago, has one child by the new wife and another on the way. Go figure...especially on the part of the wife.

People, especially women, are NOT rational when it comes to marrying or having offspring. You give up your freedom. You put a stumbling block in front of your career ambitions. You risk ruining your looks. You give up free time for hobbies and other interesting pursuits. You have to live with someone else which is difficult. I've lived with my boyfriends for brief periods and I know it wasn't all a bed of roses.

I also think there must be tons of societal pressure that makes women marry and reproduce. Mothers may push the same misery they endured on to their daughters. If you get married you get all kinds of gifts. If you get pregnant with your first child you get all kinds of gifts and recognition. The woman who stays single is a "career woman," and though she may have a household of one, she never receives any gifts for it from most people. People sometimes even consider the single career woman selfish. She's not selfish of course because she's not hurting children she never had or a husband she didn't marry, but that is a fairly common set of assumptions.

I'm just glad my mother got divorced when I was eighteen and was down on the idea of marriage. That meant no pressure to pair off. My mother also could care less about grand children. I know a lot of mothers aren't like that but I've been spared a lot of pressure and at forty-three, I'm hopefully too old to reproduce.

What would be nice though would be for people like me to come out of the closet. Unlike gays who seem to be born the way they are, my lifestyle is a choice and it is a choice with some real serious advantages. Singles like me ought to recruit among younger women and let them know they have an alternative to pairing off and reproducing and that life is just great without those things. Boy would that be controversial.


by Eileen Kramer

Jalepinio21 among the tangerines

There, I did it. It felt good. I never saved up that many NP before, but there it ends. It is still my writing and mind that give Jalepinio21 any life and my will and sweat that gave her those pretty rainbow scales.

I guess you are wondering what I plan to do next especially since tomorrow is half price day on Neopets (starting at 3am here on the east coast). The "right answer" is walk away or do nothing. Of course I went back after my account got frozen and rebuilt. There is a bit more to it than what I am writing, but that bit more is really just an excuse at this point.

The "right question" to ask is "why did you come back?" PHATCH is a much better place in the long run. Roll playing on other boards or even just doing fiction an episode a day is better, yes intrinsicly better. Fiction uses your mind. Memorizing trivia to earn NP is someone else using your mind. Whoring your eyeballs for the sake of Neopoints is selling yourself. It perverts the whole Horatio Alger myth of hard work and goal orientation. It hijacks all those great ideas about hard work.

So why did I bother? Incremental positive reinforcement is pleasurable. It is also pretty much a sure thing and my life is in flux because I am going to relocate in three weeks time. I've done all the easy parts. Now I get to tear up my apartment. Certainty is comforting.

When I was job hunting, Neopets offered yet another attraction, actually two attractions: escape and the fact that what I wrote there would soon disappear and thus never be seen by prospective employers. I don't have these reasons any more. I have my blog back.

I have enough good sense to say take it one day at a time as far as Neopets is concerned. I put up a store there today so I could enjoy doing the design work and sell a few items that I accumulated as part of the painting trades. I got to run my first money laundry between two accounts. I may or may not do that again. Never is just too long a time.

Two moving companies called me back today and one made an appointment for 1:30 tomorrow afternoon to look at my apartment and give me an estimate. I got two big boxes from computer services, but I don't have any packing tape. Yes, I am going to start to pack and it will probably be in this room.

I'm still not well. I am sick with stress. I have been waking up sore all over and dreaming that I am either fighting or partially paralized in some way that is painful. I wake and find the pain is still with me and probably broke into my dreams. I think my muscles were straining while I was asleep which means the sleep paralysis did not hold.

For those of you who don't know, I sleep walk from time to time. I have no idea how often I do it because I usually have no memory of it. Well, waking up sore from sleeping the way I have means that I am coming close to sleep walking. I have never hurt myself sleep walking. I only know I sleep walk because my boyfriend has seen me do it, and becuase I mislay objects when I am in that state.

Well here I am with a bath drawn and it is late at night. I did not pack a lick of stuff today, but I did make very rich and very good miso peanut butter soup and a big spahgetti squash as round and perfect as a light yellow egg. Good food can make being at home seem very comfortable.

I remind myself that I can go back to schul tomorrow night. The congregation barely makes a minyan if there is nothing special happening so my presence is a good thing. Besides, I'll get to critique the rabbi's sermon. Quite frankly, it is good to be back.

One of my colleagues wants to take me for a farewell dinner at the new and fancy Chinese place up near Petsmart. That is so cool! I could kiss this colleague who has been like a mother to me all these years. I would never have survived without her. She was one of my references. Erma, you rock!


Wednesday, March 01, 2006

by Eileen Kramer

I am back on Ghostletters and that is good because I am doing a bit less Neopets. Of course I nearly at the point where I can afford that rainbow paint brush. It's the end of the road. It's the tough time. Another day of hard playing will put me comfortably inside the range for such things. Then will come the tense time as the NP change hands between accounts and the paintbrush changes hands yet again. At the end of it all, I'll paint Jalepinio21.

Ghostletters, my favorite red hot to go and full of beans role play list, has a new and rearin to go leader who occasionally plays her Medieval Prince like a twentieth century reformer or a nineteenth century one. I just realized that Tareisia has great grandparents and certainly great aunts and uncles who were share croppers, essentially feudal serfs in the American South. This should make for an interesting response.

The new proboard that I joined (There are always new Invisionfree and Proboards out there started by frustrated Neopian role players) has ground to a hault which is why I returned to Ghostletters. Ghostletters is inclusive and antiBrainstormish so it is good vengance work though I just joined Ghostletters for fun.

Hertzel got the last of his medicine tonight. He looks and feels great and his breath is kissing sweet. He snuggles with me every night. I am glad tomorrow is second shift at work. That means lots of snuggling and lots of meditating.

My dinner actually set tonight and I am not achy all over. I took Naproxen for the aches and pains this morning. I just got so sick of hurting. I think the warm weather and sunshine and blood oranges I bought in Atlanta are chasing my cold away.

Tomorrow I intend to go shopping and get some burnable CD's so I can start making copies of all my work and making a copy of my course to give to Carole who is taking it over. My course is Libr1105. I will miss it terribly but what can I say. I can't say much about work.

We had speakers and free lunch at work again and that was not bad. The speaker did a mathematical puzzle called prisoners and guards and let us work it out on sheets of paper. I wish I had been less distracted because puzzles like this are fun.

We have a meeting on Thursday that I have to attend. It is a big one in the auditorium in the student union.

I will be very glad when I come home from work tomorrow night and will not have to give Hertzel any more antibiotic. I am also glad I remembered to bring my own soda to work so I did not take one of the Cokes or Mr. Pibbs off the table. I don't need the caffeine. I have enough trouble with IBS without triggering myself all over the block.

I need to find a mover. That is my next job and one I detest.

I also want to order that stuff from Northstyle as a kind of reward. I wonder if they fixed their online order blank. I'm afraid to try that form. I'm afraid someone is packet sniffing an online broken form. Don't ask how they can do this. There is an old saying: Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't someone out to get you.

I ought to listen to the BBC and see if I can get caught up on the news. That would be better than playing Neopets. In the bathroom one of the cats is making a major engineering project as my boyfriend calls it in the litter pan. The sound of digging is always very loud. It is one of those homey sounds a cat owner gets used to.

Oh well...I'll enjoy sleeping in a bit and going shopping and then sliding back under the harness. What can I do. That is how life works.