Sunday, September 14, 2003
by Eileen Kramer
OK, we are going to try an experiment today. I am going to clean out the RAOK guestbook and set it to rights and all of you can come along with me. Here we are inside Alxnet's editing page. I need a notebook page to do a roundup but first I have to find out how many signatures the guestbook has accumulated in the last two weeks or so. The magic number is fourteen (14).
Let me get wordpad set up to handle the roundup. OK, we're set up.
Now let's start with the oldest signature first. She has no web page and liked our 9/11 tribute. I avoided RAOK's 9/11 tribute like the plague. I don't mind locally held memorial services and candle light vigils but tributes on the web two years later by people who had no relation at all to the victims or the tragedy beyond watching it on TV.... Anyway, I'm off to Corbis to get her a card. I even know what I'll choose. OK, one down and thirteen to go.
Signer number two is advertising her organization. She left a real life address in the guestbook. This leaves me to check whether her organization is bona fide. I make a short trip to her URL. Well it looks like her URL is on rented space without ads and her organization has an address that is more than just a postbox. There are lots of real life names mentioned on a board of directors and most important, they have NOT asked for money. This post can stay alone and unedited. Yay! It's good to see people doing things right. Two down. Twelve to go.
Signer number three says she has poor health and did not list her web site. She gets an ecard which will probably have the same photographer sa the Corbis card I used for signer number one. OK, three down and twelve to go. I miscounted. There are fifteen signers all lined up.
Signer number four recently lost her mother and has a web page, but her Bravenet guestbook poses a privacy threat. Besides I've been there before under another name. I'm going to send her an ecard. This one came from Bulbmeister where they have great shots of flowers. Four down eleven to go.
Signer number five has an interesting web site. She and her husband do poetry and drama programs in schools in Ierland. These are the kinds of businesses I like to see advertise in the RAOK guestbook. Her guestbook, however, is Bravenet so she gets a card. Sometimes I like to live by the example I am supposed to set. Five down and ten to go.
Signer number six did not leave her email in the guestbook which means that I will have to chase it down. Her site features toll style contry graphic linkware. Her site is also "pigged" with no right click. Adolph Gottlieb, one of my favorite artists will supply a wonderful ecard picture from Allpostcards.com Away it goes. Six down and nine to go.
Signer number seven is going to become a RAOKster. I always enjoy seeing this. She gets a nice Corbis card. I wanted a fall design but ended up with something tropical. This is what happens when you browse a bit too much. It's a hazard of being on a fast computer. Seven down and seven to go. Number eight is nonviable. It left neither email address nor URL.
Signer number nine has a page called Daily Luv and the midi or ram file that's embedded is actually interesting. The graphics are decent too, and she's a fellow RAOKster. I like sending members postcards. I think this one is going back to Bulbmeister. I'm not sure why. Nine down and five to go.
Signer number ten has a silent web page. The web page has a barely readable background made of
yellow flowers. The page is about an interracial couple. It also has a Geocities guestbook which means I am going to sign it. She is also thinking of becoming a RAOKster. Yay! Unfortunately, the guestbook appears not to be working. OK, Bulbmeister to the rescue once again. Ten down and four to go.
The large number of Bravenet guestbooks make sending postcards mandatory. Also we have a fair number of signers without web pages. Anyway on to signer number eleven. She has no URL so she gets a Corbis card. She is interested in becoming a member. I like seeing posts like this.
I do not like seeing posts like signer number twelve. He is what I call a "frequent flyer" This is his fourth or fifth time in our guestbook. He is not advertising anything illegal. His posts do not duplicate eachother. He signs every month or two. His posts stay and I get to answer them. I think he is a Bravenet user let me see. No, he has no guestbook. He has a Corbis card on the way to him now. Twelve down and three to go.
Signer number thirteen does not have a guestbook. She wants to join RAOK. I love these kinds of entries. She gets a card from Allposters.com and I'm left with two more signers.
Signer number fourteen has a web page. Let's have a look. Well the page does not come up. Let's see if she left an email address. Nope....no email address either. Looks like another nonviable signature.
This brings us to signer number fifteen, our last one for this session. He is a clown with a tribute to 9/11 on his page and other interesting stuff including inspirational poetry. His guestbook is a sleak German one that does not throw malware and takes graphics. This is a great way to end a decent run.
This is a decent run because there were not a lot of messy posts that needed fixing or advertising posts that needed pulling. Maybe the word is out that I run a tight ship. I sure hope it is. Well now I have to send the round up off to my committee. Let me pack it up and out it goes.
Sunday, September 07, 2003
by Eileen Kramer
Well it's been a long time. I've been side tracked. A lot has gone on and some of it is very ugly. First, my grandmother died August 17th. For real. She was 102. The weird thing is my mother wanted to pretty much bury her in secret. She did not sit shiva. She did not tell the neighbors or her friends except her boyfriend she had lost her mother. She did not want me around in funeral clothes because she feared I would say something. I didn't meet any of her friends and we only stayed in Westchester one night.
I've decided my mother is crazy. This makes me angry. It shouldn't but it does. I can't change my mother, but I'm still missing a lot of what I can get or should have. The qestion as always is how to nurture myself. I can befriend older women who are more like the mother I would want to have. That is hard since many of these are Christian and have family of their own. Still it's better than nothing.
Then there is Orelle, my mother substitute. I have a paper diary where I can talk to her and she can answer me. This is a bit like doing automatic writing. She also has a blog of her own that is not so active. She is on email lists, keeps a page, and basicly is there to understand when my mother is not.
Of course I can't visit my mother substitute. Yes, I suppose I could arrange to go to Reno on a vacation, but my past is in the New York City area and neither of my parents meets my needs. I probably don't meet theirs either but such is life. I need to find a motel where I can stay. What I want to do in New York is visit my grandparents' graves, some shopping malls, the neighborhood where I grew up etc....
I could even visit my motel and then go to see my real mother afterwards or before, or stay in my motel when I visit my mother so as to have more freedom. My mother does not have a guest bedroom, only a sleeping alcove, for guests in her apartment. I could also visit my motel when I wanted to go north and do what I wanted to do.
Of course why should I have a motel in New York when I could go to any number of northern places that I like: Syracuse, Ithaca, Montreal for starters. There is plenty to do in all those places and I either love the cities or am sentimentally attached to them. I probably can do both.
In other news, I had a job interview in Big Rapids Michigan a week or so ago. The presentation went well. I'm not sure about the interview. They could always like the second candidate better. I really liked the university and the town. No it wasn't perfect but it is much better than where I am now. I don't want to deal with the rejection which at this stage feels inevitable. I am trying not to think of either no or yes. Both responses feel devastating.
OK, it's do-list time. FIRST is to reinstitute some C time. This is creative time every day devoted just to me. The last time I had C time was when I couldn't do something at work. I made sure to get my C time scheduled and do it. This time it is for Orelle. She is going to start blogging regularly. So too is Haldis and also Thadea. I'll blog too and work on the fiction. We'll keep it rotated on a five day cycle.
Second, I will find a motel where I can stay in the New York metro area so I no longer have to depend on an invite from my mother for a visit there. Simply put, being able to do what I want without it merely being tolerated is important.
Third, Start becoming more active on RAOKCircleoffriendship@yahoogroups.com and on the LOTH boards. I need good traditional female role models. There they are.
OK, I'm still angry but at least I have a strategy. I am going to be around here a whole lot more. C time is every day, sometimes twice a day.