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No-Crit Communication Explained

No, this is not a contradiction in terms. For those of you who are ' used to traditional discussion/debate fora, a no-crit board, wiki, and email list are going to feel like one of the strangest places you have ever been. Second, you'll probably wonder what there is which is safe to discuss, why you should participate, and maybe even why any one would set up or be part of a no-crit group. Hopefully, this essay will explain all of that and more.

Put quite simply, no-crit stands for NO CRITICISM. You may not criticize, insult, bash, flame, or angrily disagree with fellow members of RAOK or leaders within any area that RAOK controls. That also means that should one of those members posts a bit of canned uplift, even if they post it on the wall at the Facebook group or on the front page of the wiki, you can't argue with it or smash it to smithereens. There are exceptions to the no-crit ethos, but generally it is the rule of the day.

No-crit means your freedom of expression is curtailed. This is not that big a deal. RAOK is a private organization, and private organizations often do that as a matter of course. Also, there are plenty of other places on the net where you can go to have the kinds of conversations that RAOK does not support.

The positive side of a no-crit is harder to explain. If you view yourself as strong and capable, you are going to crave the give and take of a good text based wrestling match. I learned the value of no-crit the hard way. Several years ago I was a member of a group called Brainstorms (No, they don't get any free advertising here.) I had forgotten the good places like RAOK does and the values for which they stand. I strayed and I paid for that straying with two weeks of mock due process and a supreme jerking around that I will never forgive or forget. I returend to RAOK and also to LOTH and found them both to be refuges. I was willing to happily abide by the no-crit ethos. I realized for the first time that no-crit is probably the most effective way to protect most people from harassment, insults, flaming, etc...

Simply put, it's no fun being a victim. I'm on an email discussion list currently where traffic has ground to a hault due to repeated attacks by a list bully. His attacks are not devestating but they have happened enough that they had a water on a rock type effect. No one enjoys being on the receiving end of this garbage. The only way to protect most people from ugly behavior and excess drama is a no-crit ethos.

Of course you are probably still wondering, how does one communicate or whether meaningful communication is possible in a no-crit environment. The answer is that yes, you can talk in a no-crit world. You probably won't talk as much. Listening is a virtue and biting your tongue may be better than lying especially when something makes you uncomfortable.

Of course if everyone is listening and traffic is low as it currently in all of RAOK, then just listening means there is no conversation and listening won't do much good.

Here is how to get started talking in a no-crit environment. First realize that depth is overrated. Most of what you say is going to be shallow. It will also be pleasant a lot of the time which is a big advantage of a no-crit environment. Start with innocuous topics. Many of these feel like games and in a way they are.

Outside my Window -- I got this one from Trace, a writing project in England. Simply look outside your window or remember your commute or lunch hour or trip home and discuss the weather and the way it makes you feel. You can also just discuss what you see outside your window.

Send an E-card -- Even blank e-cards don't require a lot of text. The image does most of the heavy lifting and it provides pleasant communication. Be sure to use a reputable e-card provider.

Post a Recipe -- Food is always a great topic of conversation. Since RAOK has no policy against alcohol, cocktail recipes are fine too.

The Gratitutde Game -- Played right this is interesting. Played not so well, it turns out a bit like glurge. Name five things (real small, real life things) for which you are grateful. For example , if you are NOT an asthmatic, you are probably not going to be grateful for breathing. Unless you almost escaped getting hit by a car you are probably not boing to be grateful for being alive. On the other hand, you may be quite grateful that all the traffic lights on the way to work were green. You may be grateful for your Christmas bonus in your pay check or a recent raise. You may be grateful that someone in your household remembered to do the laundry. This is a game that can be very interesting and nearly everyone can play it.

The Ice Breaker -- Post it or fill it out. It's a form with ten to fifty questions. The longer ones can drag a bit so shorter is better. Too many closed questions also make them less effective. More fill in the blanks instead of multiple choice is the way to go for these. The problem with ice breakers is they seldom stir up further conversation.

Prayer Request -- You can also request good vibes or thoughts if prayer is not your thing. You'll probably get some prayers in return but so it goes. This is a basic support request.

Praise Report/Update/Life Cycle Announcement -- When something good happens, please report it to the group. This is the converse of prayer/support requests and they give the discussion fora an upbeat feel.

Nostalgia -- Talk about a favorite incident, toy, etc.. as a child or adolescent or just plain younger person. Flashbacks are a bit more like journaling than typical topics, but they can be fun.

Fantasy vacation -- This works into the future and is also closer to a journaling topic.

Fantasy charity -- Someone has given you a thousand dollars to donate to your favorite charities. Which ones would you pick and why. Again, this is a journaling topic but fun.

By the way, books and web sites of journaling prompts contain lists of conversation starters. Many of these, the less morbid ones, work well in no-crit environments.

Of course you are wondering if you can ever speak your mind or discuss current events. The answer is all probably yes. Prayer requests and praise reports and to some extent the fantasy and journal prompt topics all involve speaking your mind, but if you want to express an opinion on the news of the day, you are free to do that as well. What you CAN NOT DO is criticize another member's opinion. You may state your own, but that is as far as you can get.

No-crit conversation also extends beyond words. The RAOK Group's Facebook location has a presie gallery as does the alternative static site. You are free to add graphics to both sites or to your own profile. Graphics are another form of conversation.

Awareness pages form a third type of discourse. With the wiki or with any free provider you are free to singly or in groups build such offerings to discuss diseases, conditions, and other important matters. Such pages offer helpful links and often feel like a public service.

With a little imagination and a fair amount of resourcefulness the world of no-crit communication can be enjoyable, interesting, and yes, very, very safe. Remember, safety does count.

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