Well, I need to run up a mast head. Now I realize that at this time
last year, I had just joined Brainstorms and loved it. Boy was that
ever misguided! And no they don't get a link or free publicity for
obvious reasons. I'm glad I'm done with them. Brainstorms taught me that
I value self expression over community and my avatars above a lot. I would
go through fire and water for my personnae and the right to keep them.
By being kicked out of Brainstorms I learned the value and power of play pretend.
In short it was worth it to be who I am, say what I said, and do what I did (polite
as I was) and get kicked out of Brainstorms. My Pretend Brainstorms is much better even though it needs some work.
Now on to Neopets: I've been earning my steady 5000 NP per day This time I swear
I'm going to make it
and save for a very expensive paint brush for Shanti, my well cared for
White is a great color but Shanti deserves to be something more special. I am
getting cheeky on the boards and having freeze scares. I tell myself sometimes it
would be all to the best if this whole Neopets adventure ended. I could go back
to my patterage and revenge work and those things are important to me. Thankfully
I make sure I do the Run Amuck and Third Rail boards every day and try
to blog most days.
I've had some trouble blogging because Georgia sometimes isn't doing well. Tonight
she refused food which for her is unusual. She wants to hang out on the bed with
Hertzel and that is pretty much it. She is skin and bones. She isn't doing a good
job grooming herself. At the same time she acts more or less like a normal Georgia.
I look at her and wonder just when it is going to get bad and how bad it is going
to get. I hate being tied to the apartment and having to race home at lunch. I resent feeling exhausted by this whole regimen that makes Georgia more comfortable too. There I said it. After I feed Georgia I count how much free time I get until the next feeding. And yes, Georgia is still playing catfood roulette but not
OK, I spent Thanksgiving alone and lived to tell the tale. I want to do my usuual
rant about spending the holidays alone. First, people who spend the holidays alone
are freaks and problems. Yes, you can be spending the holiday alone throuogh no
fault of your own which is sort of my case. I can't leave Georgia and the only invite
in my family is from my dad whom I don't trust well enough (history of abuse) to stay overnight in his house in Boca Raton and that was half hearted without anything approaching decent lead time. My mother goes to her boyfriend's daughter's family and says she hates it, but puts up with it. I did have my mother here for Christmas last year. I did not mind doing all the work. I don't know if there will be a repeat performance.
Everyone knows I have odd food preferences, (kosher and northern which pans out as vegetarian) so I don't get invites at work. Besides Thanksgiving is a family time and people tend not to invite single colleagues. Charity is a funny bird. People give what they think you need when they think you need it. Rides short distances are a classic example. I get tons of those and I turn them down. I don't want them and don't need them. An invite to someone's home even if just for dessert or leftovers just doesn't materialize. Should I have to beg.
OK here is where we get to the good part. People spending the holidays alone are clearly second class citizens. First, they are expected to take the leavings and be grateful for them, an invite where the food is gross, an invite by an abusive parent etc... That's leavings.
Second, if they don't take the leavings, people spending the holiday alone are expected to repent of their faults and atone. You don't believe me read all those articles saying how giving to others at holiday time remedies the holiday blues. "Go help at a nursing home or soup kitchen," experts advise. Now if this is what you like to do and it's part of your holiday routine and you like it, well fine. Go for it, but think about it for a moment. Asking someone who is by themselves at holiday time who has the least socially to volunteer to help those less fortunate, is asking those who have the least and who need help to give the most. What's more soup kitchens and nursing homes are depressing places. They can make a person who is down feel more depressed. I know when I think of the least fortunate I think that life expletive deleteds all around and here's the proof. If I want to cheer myself up during holiday time I go and look at well decorated houses, the plant room at Walmart which has pointsettias in every imaginable color, my Christmas tree or the posh houses near the golf course. It's nice to see beauty and seeing thoose big mansions reminds me that the game of life has some real winners in it even if they are not me.
Third those who lack sufficient family for the holidays (and this includes those who are alone) are expected to disappear. In this case someone suggests "why not go away for the holiday?" I blink and ask where I would go. I also remind the person that the local hotel does a fine buffet, not that it is the kind of food I particularly want to eat.
So what is a person who is spending the holiday alone to do? Well, first of all realize holidays are for having fun, not for sharing love or family togetherness. If that is part of the fun great, but it is perfectly OK to have fun all by yourself.
So the answer is simple: have fun. I enjoy the cooking and hosting the festive
meal at Thanksgiving which is why the hotel buffet does not cut it. I also eat
a vegetarian diet, so I made my own Thanksgiving dinner just for me. I now have
tons of leftovers just like the people who celebrated with family. I got to plan,
shop, cook, and enjoy. I also had no nasty relatives to deal with. I did not
do pennance etc...
If you prefer more traditional fare and you have the fifteen to twenty dollars,
make a reservation for one at the hotel buffet in your town. Yes, you can go by
yourself. If you are uncomfortable eating alone in restaurants, than lose that
discomfort. Bring a book. You can read while you enjoy a traditional meal all
dressed up just like you would be at a family affair. In fact there is a room
full of families and maybe also some alone folks enjoying their meal right along
When it comes to Christmas or Channaukah, decorate your home or apartment. I own
a big beautiful white Christmas tree that is going up tomorrow. I have CD's of
holiday carrols. Go out and take a walk and see the pretty Christmas lights and
view the decorations at the local mall. You can decorate just for you and it is
Think of lots of fun things to do by yourself on days when stores are closed. These inclde drawing, playing computer games, watching videos, listening to music, reading,
and going for long walks.
Doesn't this make spending the holidays alone sound a lot better? I hope it does,
and take it from one who just had a great solo Thanksgiving, it really works.